Find Social Support

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Can my spouse or partner be my Tenure Track Buddy?
No, usually not.

When you ask your partner to be your academic buddy you are creating a dual relationship that invites negative transference issues. You may find your loved one quickly morphing into a nagging parent.

I have known academics whose spouse was their most trusted critic and valued taskmaster, but do you want to take this risk? No. Share the tribulations and glories of your intellectual life with your partner. Go ahead and ask for advice. Show your drafts. Strut your stuff. Just don't make your lover your study hall monitor.

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Can I have more than one dissertation buddy?
Yes.

It is great to have a stable of supportive peers. It is common to develop buddies specialized roles - such as statistics maven, grammar editor, politics navigator, co-complainer, cheerleader. Usually, however, you will want a "best buddy" because you'll only have time to meet with one person on a weekly basis. Having regular, nonnegotiable appointments - whether by phone or in person, and usually with adjunct, email updates - is the hallmark of an ideal buddy system.

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Should I pick an accomplice in my department?
It depends on whether you are a graduate student or a junior faculty member.

If you are a grad student or post-doc, you may. If you are an untenured professor, don't do it.

The pros and cons of intradepartmental buddies doctoral student or a postdoctoral fellows are complex: there are compelling benefits, but also emotional dangers, to this arrangement.

The risk is jealousy. In many top doctoral programs, sibling rivalry is rife. (I find intense peer competition to be especially problematic in clinical psychology departments where we scramble to prove that we are not only the most brilliant, but the most empathetic, generous, warm and supportive!)

If you can avoid envy, then a buddy within your department has many advantages. He or she will know the players and the system, and can often give the best advice for dealing with advisors, bureaucracy and academic requirements. You can more confidently reassure one another than you are still sane and the system is crazy.

In contrast, if you are an assistant professor, avoid developing a Buddy relationship with anyone in your department. The benefits are not worth the dangers.

In graduate school, the professors want all students to be successful and graduate. It is in their interest to have a successful cadre of students.

At a faculty level, however, there can be reality-based, survival-of-the-fittest pressures. There may be several junior profs vying for the same tenure spot. University bureaucrats may prefer to keep a rotating pool of less-expensive junior faculty and make permanent room for only the star players.

Because of the potential for competitive conflicts of interest among untenured peers within individual departments, it is preferable to find colleagues in other fields, or other universities, to be your Tenure Track Buddies. (Please note that a tenure track buddy is not the same is a mentor: you definitely want to foster as many mentoring relationships as possible with senior colleagues in your department.)

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